Day One

I was not planning on writing until this evening. I wanted to actually get through the day before I started bitching about it. However, my day has been almost comically bad thus far, so I have decided to start sharing now.

This detox has a ridiculous amount of supplements. 10 pills... Three times a day. The dietary restrictions are really nothing compared to the supplements. In addition to the pills, there is this powder that I need to use in "shakes" every day. So in addition to the pills, I need to drink 2 to 3 shakes with the powder. I think the shakes are just something to keep you filled up during the day.

I have an insanely low tolerance for things that taste even remotely medicinal. It takes very little to get me sick. So I was feeling a little anxious about how the powder might taste. Noah had put some of the powder on his finger last night and tasted it, and said it did not taste like anything. Before I could eat the shake, I had to take the first batch of supplements. So the first thing I did when I got up this morning was grab a glass of water along with the 10 pills. All I could think about though was the powder for the shake, so I was not paying attention when I put a pill in my mouth and took a swig of water. Holy hell. This stuff is disgusting. So disgusting that I almost threw up, and in my effort not to, I spilled my entire glass of water. The water went directly onto the other 9 pills I had to take, and the gel caps started to dissolve. So I end up grabbing a banana and just shoving a pill in my mouth with a bite of banana. Nine times. I managed to get them down, but it was no easy task.

I am not going to get into the whole situation with the shake, all I can say is Noah was right. When you put a little bit on your finger to taste, it does taste like nothing. When you add two scoops to a smoothie, it tastes like something. Something disgusting. Not that it mattered, since I ended up spilling the entire blender full of smoothie onto the counter and floor. Ahhh... It went everywhere. But I got back up on the proverbial horse, and made myself another batch. This time with some more potent fruit. It's still pretty gross, but hopefully I will get used to it.

I have a read a bunch of reviews on this detox, and everyone has had nothing but wonderful things to say about the results, but almost everyone has had problems with the taste of the pills and powder... No one seems to have an answer to this. I briefly thought about spraying my mouth with some cold spray, which would be gross, but would numb my throat and mouth. I am really hoping to come up with a better solution.

I guess I could look at the bright side of things... I have been so worried about the taste of this stuff that I have had no time to think about all the carbs I can't eat.

21 day detox.

9 months. 2 doctors. 4 IUIs, and now an acupuncturist. Still no baby. BUT I am trying to stay positive. My first doctor was an absolute nightmare. I made the decision before we started trying to get pregnant, that I was going to go off my meds. Being bi-polar, this was a serious decision that involved a lot of thought. However, the ob/gyn decided that first I needed to see a genetic counselor, so we understood the chances that our kid might be bi-polar. My dad is bi-polar, so I am more than a little aware of the chances. We wait three weeks to go see the counselor, and when we sit down to talk to her, she has no idea why we were even sent to her. So then the ob/gyn decides I needed permission from my psychiatrist. Literally. She wanted me to bring in a note. While this may not seem like a big deal to some people, having someone question my ability to make life changing decisions was a big deal to me.

Since we have to go through a doctor to get pregnant (we have to do IUIs,) and this doctor managed to make me feel like absolute crap, we moved on fairly quickly to the next. Oh... Only after she did a pap smear, told me the results were abnormal and I had pre-cancerous cells, and then left me a message a few weeks later telling me everything was fine, while she had her lunch in her mouth. No joke.

So we went to a doctor that works specifically with infertility. And this doctor is wonderful. She's down to earth, doesn't think that bi-polar disorder should take me out of the breeding pool. Yay. So we get all the tests done to make sure we are good to go, and we head down the road to parenthood... At least we thought we did.

We have had 4 IUIs with no success, which is emotionally and financially draining. And it looks like IVF could be in our future, which is 15 grand each time. So planning a wedding, law school, and IVF is going to be insanely expensive. Noah is handling it like a champ, a frickin' ray of sunshine... I, on the other hand, am handling it in the way that is slightly less positive. It does not help that half the world is popping up pregnant, in a collective shout out to how their uterus works, while mine is being uncooperative.

Things are looking up a little though. Since the doctor is unsure of why I am not getting pregnant, there are a few things that need to be addressed. One being my weight. I have gained a considerable amount since I quit smoking. Two being my stress. Which, if you have ever met me, needs no real explanation. I am stressed all the time. So the doc recommended I go to an acupuncturist.... My mom recommended I start smoking again. While I was really considering my mom's suggestion, I went with the doctor's instead.

Over the last two weeks I have visited the acupuncturist and I have already seen a significant change in my sleeping pattern. She has recommended a 21 days detox, that I will be starting on Friday. A lot of what I have read about it has been positive, so I guess we shall see.